Birthday

Riyah had a dusky complexion with shiny black hair. Her high cheekbone would close her small eyes whenever she smiled or laughed. Her lips were full and her big mouth showed her large teeth which she was not particularly fond of. Her husky voice gave her more compliments than her beautiful figure. This is how she looked when she was young, vivacious, and full of life.

Today when she is turning seventy-five she looks old with her wrinkled face and fine lines around her eyes. Once the black hair is now a mixture of grey and silver. Even at this age, she has not lost her charm or grace. The young talkative Riyah is now much of a listener.

Alone in her room sitting by the window she looks out; sees the children playing in the garden with their father;
takes her down memory lane.  She remembers how her father used to pamper her much to the envy of the elder brother, Sohail. Sohail would tease Riyah and spoil her mood,  but Daddy was always there to cheer her up.

Her elder sister would look after her more often than her mother. Mummy was exhausted by the time Riyah was born. Riya's responsibilities fell upon Zoya's shoulders. Zoya never complained about it, in fact, she was fond of Riyah and loved her very much.

The second sibling was also a girl, Yami; she was most of the time in her own world; not very expressive, and neither outgoing nor an extrovert like the other daughters of the family. Sohail, the third sibling,  is the boy of the household. This was Riyah's family.

Riyah remembers very clearly that it was her 4th birthday when she wanted to celebrate it and Daddy was refusing. It was the first time when she wished for something and Daddy had refused her. Again and again, Daddy was saying -
" It is not the right time, maybe next year."
Riyah also recalls daddy and mummy were very sad and so were the other family members. I could remember about 15 days ago everyone was very happy and excited. Excited to welcome a new member into the family.

One-night mummy was in great pain and was taken to the hospital. The next morning Zoya took me to the hospital to visit Mummy as it was a Sunday. Zoya dressed me and plaited my hair neatly. I had not seen Mummy since the previous night and I was very excited to meet her. Zoya was saying -
" It's a boy!"
We all were very happy except Sohail. Sohail was not particularly excited as he thought now no one would love him as a new brother had come to the family.

Daddy was as always loving and gentle told him-
" Everyone loves you and will love your younger brother."
I was engrossed in my world to comprehend anything.

In the hospital, I saw Mummy. She was pale and frail lying on the bed. When she saw me she gestured me to come near her. She pulled my hands from my side and kissed it and I kissed on her cheek. I asked her when she was going to return home, and she only said -
"soon."
Zoya was holding a small baby in her arms and spoke softly -
" Look! Who has come to meet you... Riyah, see this is our younger brother."
Standing there it dawned to me that mummy had come to the hospital to fetch a baby. A bell rang at a distance and it was time to go home. We were returning home without mummy and the baby. They said mummy would return home in a few days. Tears rolled down my cheek as I bid them goodbye.

Later in the night, there was chaos in the house. It was the weeping of Yami that woke me. Daddy was frantically trying to wear his shirt. Zoya was calling her uncle to come home immediately. That is all I saw, my eyes closed and I went to sleep again.

The next morning mummy was discharged from the hospital. When I returned home from school I did not see the baby. Mummy was weak and her eyes were swollen. I went next to her bed and asked her about the baby. She said -
"Baby is unwell so he is still at the hospital."
I saw silent big tears dropping from the corner of her eyes staining the pillow. Yami took me to the other room, asked me not to disturb Mummy, and let her rest.  I took the liberty and asked her -
"Where is the baby? What happened to him... when will he return home....!"
Yami informed me that-
" Baby was on oxygen as he had developed some complications.  It will take a few days for him to return home."

In the evening when Daddy returned from work was having some serious conversation. I overheard Daddy saying that-
" such a small baby and he has to suffer so much. Pipes have been inserted in his nostrils and needles injected into his tiny wrist. I cannot see him suffer."
Mummy and Daddy were crying silently. The doctors had told Daddy that it will not be good to keep him on oxygen for long. Their expert opinion was to remove oxygen and see what happened. Daddy was asking Mummy's opinion as to what to do.
Young that I was I knew they were discussing a serious matter which made them sad. The next day when I returned from school, I saw, the house was full of women grieving.  My uncle, aunt, and cousins all had swollen eyes and they looked very sad. Zoya came to me and took the bag off my shoulder. I whispered to her -
"What happened ....  the baby?"
Zoya suppressed her cry and told me
"The baby is no more!"
I quietly went to mummy put my head on her lap, cried, and don't know when I went off to sleep.

Impatience or Patience!!?

The first thing that would come to mind if I were to construct a list of my flaws is that I am "impatient." I used to argue that's how God formed me whenever Mom chastised me for having a low tolerance for patience.

I never considered that patience might be learned and improved over time.

We are carefree, irresponsible, and stubborn as youngsters. Children are not known to have possessed the virtue of patience. We realise that things done carefully are considerably more fruitful to us than those done hastily or impatiently as we develop and life begins to take its toll on us.
It is up to us, as mature people, to cope with life's problems patiently or impatiently. Developing patience requires tremendous effort and willpower. It is not only about determination but also about being wise enough to be patient rather than impatient. Developing patience requires tremendous effort and willpower. It is not only a matter of determination but also of being wise enough to be patient rather than impatient and acting badly. According to the book of Proverbs (14:29),

A patient person has tremendous understanding, but a quick-tempered person is foolish.

Sumaira, an elderly lady in her late eighties, is seated in her rocking rocker, watching the sun set through the window. She is in a reflective mood and ponders her entire life. Images of her husband arriving late from work and her excitedly awaiting him, fussing over her attire and plotting how she will savage him when he returns. How her hasty scolding would devolve into a dispute that would upset the entire family. This carried on for quite some time. With the passage of time, a deeper understanding emerged, and mutual respect and affection replaced disagreements and tensions. 

A jerk from the rocking chair jolted her awake from her slumber. It was the cat that bothered her. Sumatra closed her eyes once again and fell asleep. Her late grandmother-in-law was reflected in her eyes. It was the morning following one of those wild nights. Grandma adored us as a pair. She'd say we reminded her of her childhood with Grandpa. "Beta, don't get so angry," she would usually say. Anger is a devil, and it will destroy your devoted family."

Sumatra used to get quite annoyed whenever their grandmother provided her counsel. Sumatra was convinced that 

"Grandma will side with her grandson and not support me."

Sumatra gradually realised that his grandmother was correct. Slowly, as the situation worsened, she realised that her husband was the family's breadwinner. He was arriving late after a long day's work, and all she did was argue with him.
Sumaira's self-awareness was sufficient. She stopped arguing, even though she was enraged, and kept her understanding and forbearance with him. She gained patience and understanding as she grew older.

Sumatra is delighted to have learned patience—patience in her love for the family, tolerance for failure, and forbearance towards her life's hardships—so that today she is happy and at peace. Giving prayers and thanks for all of her grandmother-in-law's help.

Sumatra's life has been made easier and happier by patience, not impatience. At this point, I'm wondering how difficult it must have been for her not to lash out at him and instead give him food with a smile. Please think about it and share your ideas in the comments section.

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Thank you

MYSELF...!!!

As the youngest kid, I was never given any responsibility for the family. I spent my free time playing, learning, and reading books, music, and movies. I was never interested in helping my mother with her cooking or in my older sister's sewing efforts. I enjoyed being idle. Grandmother was constantly on my side, saying, "She grows up and has responsibilities; she will do it."

I grew up, got married, and had kids. And I was a devoted wife and a commanding mother. I had my own family... to be at my husband's disposal and raise my children. Everyone has their ups and downs, and I was no exception, as I had my fair share of difficulties. Every day brought a different trail and experience. It was difficult to survive, but I did. My breath of fresh air was the smile of my darling toddlers, who would occasionally come over to give me a kiss or a close hug. I'd look at them and forget about my struggles and problems. My children were my rock... 

 A decade of enormous challenges had somehow ended, and life went on. I had little time to think about myself during that decade. I was preoccupied with raising my children...doing everything possible to ensure their happiness. The irony is that in attempting to create a world for them. I FORGOT MYSELF. They've grown up, are self-sufficient, and I no longer need to follow them around. I don't have much to do right now. I have nothing worthwhile to do besides cook and take care of the house. I am mostly idle. What I used to enjoy as a child, I now despise. I despise being idle. On the other side, how much cooking and bric brats will I accomplish throughout the day? I have been procrastinating in my everyday routine for the previous five years. I'm sick of sitting around or cooking. What was once a joy...cooking for the family is now a source of stress and concern for me. 

What exactly do I want to do...  I want to... I want to... I want to do something but I'm not sure what. How do I get out of this mental quagmire... I have no idea...  I am unsure what will make me happy. I simply want to do something... anything to get me out of the home and make me feel valuable. My self-esteem and confidence would skyrocket even though I earn little money and only a few people know who I am. 

This is my desire. I conducted some study and took a few courses and programmes to reconnect with the world I had lost contact with many years before. Even after completing these courses, I lacked the confidence to step out on my own. I was back at the beginning. I lacked the guts to confront the world or step outside of my comfort zone. It's been a few months that I've been thinking about and seeing other females, mostly mothers my age, who are content with whatever little they have. They appear to be confident, joyful, and fulfilled.

I've always had big dreams but never realised them. I've learned that I should start small and be satisfied with what I can do. I should not compare my accomplishments to those of others. My accomplishment is my personal development. I shouldn't be too hard on myself; instead, I should be content with what I can do. 

Accomplishment

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I have not written anything in a while. I've been busy with children, charity work, and some domestic chores. I'd been intending to write for a long, but I just couldn't make the time. Though I didn't have anything substantial to write down, I had numerous subject ideas swirling around in my thoughts. I want to accomplish something today. I woke up feeling refreshed and energised, therefore I should take advantage of the day. I want to do something modest today that will also make me feel good about myself.

Breaking world or national records or becoming instantaneously recognised and popular are not prerequisites for something to be considered accomplished. Being more prosperous and successful than your competition is a fantastic accomplishment. However, even before I take over the world, I must battle the monsters within me and achieve feats I would never dare to imagine.

To me, success involves doing something that I haven't been able to do before. On a personal level, I don't define success by defeating others; rather, I define success by getting past my flaws, my concerns, and myself. My accomplishments and victories don't have to involve overcoming challenges or showcasing my strength or stamina. This achievement can be overcoming my emotional or mental obstacles to succeed against myself on a personal level. My time with the psychologist is about to come to an end. It has been quite beneficial to me. I have a clean head, a positive attitude, and I'm busy. I feel accomplished after doing this.

When I thought about a coworker in the office, these ideas came to me. She constantly had a shaky, anxious appearance. I yearned to question her about this kind of conduct. She never spoke to anyone in particular and always stayed to herself. For her, going to the boss's office was the worst possible scenario. Because of her anxiety, she can make a mistake at his office. The boss would yell at her and correct her as a result. She made an effort to manage her anxiousness, but she was unsuccessful. As a newcomer, she was nervous but then as time passed and got used to the new surrounding she was best in her field.

For me, it's the same. I used to doubt myself and stop believing in myself. I would wake up every morning with some kind of physical discomfort. I experienced headaches frequently, fevers sporadically, and high acidity. Back when I was struggling, I had already overcome my feelings of hopelessness. I had problems concentrating. I've made a gradual effort to train my mind to be less sensitive to small setbacks. I have become more composed and can maintain my composure in most situations. I don't evaluate my successes as those of others because only I am aware of the challenges and how I overcome them.

There are no too-big or too-minor tasks. By comparing ourselves to others, we diminish ourselves. We need to be more kind to ourselves than we usually are. Success is proof of a person's worth, both in their own eyes and in the eyes of others.

Depression..!!

For almost 8 years, I spent the majority of my waking hours on my phone. I was becoming both mentally and physically ill, but I was unaware of it at the time. I didn't have a lot of work to do. My housework consisted of nothing more than preparing food and maintaining cleanliness. After completing this in the morning, I had the rest of the day free. I scarcely had any friends because I was new to the city. I received no visitors, and I had nowhere to go. Going mall hopping was not a wise decision because setting up shop in a new location always meant being strapped for cash and going out meant spending money on unnecessary things.

Laziness came in gradually. Most of the time, I'd be asleep. I began to feel sleepy, and I was always sluggish. Fatigue began to set in. I couldn't get out of bed on time. Every day, I would drag myself out of bed, cook, and sleep. On some days, I would get up, feed the kids and my husband breakfast, and then go to bed after they left. This went on for two years. I had realised that I was not living a healthy lifestyle and that something was amiss with me. I was diagnosed with thyroiditis after a few blood tests and became active again after the medication was started. I was active in the sense that I had no choice. I was active in the sense that my sleep was no longer inconsistent, but I was severely addicted to my phone. As time passed, I began to make friends, but my social life was not active enough to entice me away from the comforts of my home. My thyroid was never within normal limits. It was always very high. In my heart, I always wanted I could have a job. And offers arrived, but my husband refused to accept them, claiming that my health would not allow it. I believed he was correct. I never imagined pushing my body's limitations. In the end, I made myself quite fragile, which made me unpleasant and snappy, and sadness crept in. I'd become agitated about trivial stuff and get anxiety attacks, which I blamed on my unpredictable eating habits. There were also times when I was sick with a headache for a few days. There would also be moments when I would cry for no apparent reason until my eyes swelled. My mood would change. I'd be happy one minute and depressed the next.

This sort of behaviour, or rather, my illness, has now started to affect my family. Frustration was settling in, and I started to feel worthless. Finally, I called up my family doctor and confided in her everything about how I was feeling. The very next day, my doctor came home with a psychoanalyst. The psychoanalyst, with her talk sessions, pulled me out of my depression. Today I feel as I have not felt in years. Previously, I would have the sensation that tiny worms were crawling inside my head. Today I feel fresh, renewed, and happy. I do not want to sleep, and I do not sit idle in my free time. I am no longer snappy or irritated. I feel worthy, and my life is a blessing. It was my psychoanalyst's idea that I should engage in some activity, so I started to write blogs to share my experience. I am thankful to my psychoanalyst for giving me a new life. I dedicate this blog to her. Thank you for reading. Please share your views and experiences in the comment section.

Hair Type

Hello friends, in this blog I shall share with you how to manage frizzy dry rough hair. Before I begin I want to announce to my readers please put up your queries in the comment section I shall surely attend them . Basically, frizzy hair is dry. It is very difficult to manage it as it gets entangled easily and lacks natural oil and moisture in it. My previous blog on oiling and turban therapy will not completely solve your problem. Frizzy hair needs special treatment. You have to make a hair pack - apply-leave for some time -rinse and shampoo. Hair pack for frizzy dry hair- take some curd smashed banana and an egg, mix them up apply. It is a little messy and smelly cause of the eggs but the pain pays you bountifully for your labor. Leave it for 15 minutes and wash off. Shampoo it thoroughly. If you have dandruff then add a lemon to the above pack. Sourness help to get rid of dandruff. If your hair is oily to normal hair and you also have dandruff in your hair make the following hair pack. 2 tbsp of henna powder, 2 tsp of curd, juice of a lemon. Mix well and if required add water. Make a paste of it and apply it. Leave it for about 45-60 minutes, rinse and shampoo. If you have dry hair do not use henna as henna has a drying effect. People with oily hair can use henna as a conditioner. Henna is a good conditioner as well as it promotes hair growth. If your hair is falling excessively then make an oil mixture at home and apply once a week before shampoo. Take 1 part castor oil, 1 part almond oil and 2 parts coconut oil..heat it and add fenugreek seeds to it. Let the oil cool and then drain and store. Use it and see the difference in your hair. Thank you, everyone, for your support for taking the time to read my blog. Please comment and share your experience... Not to forget to share with friends and family.

Beautiful Hair.

It is every woman's dream to have beautiful hair be it a little girl to an old woman. All they all yearn is to have smooth silky shiny hair. Some are lucky who are born with beautiful hair while some use hair products to fulfill their dream. In this blog, I am going to share the simple basic treatment of hair to make your hair beautiful. The grandma's old therapy of oiling the should be a ritual to be followed always but with a modern twist. Warm oil of your choice and apply to the scalps. Oiled hair should be kept overnight. Due to pollution do not keep your oiled hair more than a few hours or overnight that as oil attracts dust and makes the oil hard to clean. Message the oil gently by your fingertips. Followed by oiling turban therapy should be done. Now, what is a turban therapy? Take a towel soak in warm water and fold your hair in the towel. Keep it as long as you feel the warmth and repeat it 3-4 times. Shampoo your hair after 2 hours. It is best to do this whole ritual during the weekend. The result of your hair will be... Smooth tangle free bouncy hair. Please share your experience in the comment section. The above therapy should be followed by ladies of all hair types. Even oily hair requires nourishment. I composed this blog so that the basic hair care is reached many. Maybe my next blog would be for Normal Hair Care Regime...till then happy reading.

COOKING.

Cooking is mostly done by women who run the household, mostly homemakers. A Housewife looks after the family, cooks keep the house organized and decorated. A woman is a daughter who sacrifices her little pleasures, comfort, luxuries, and sometimes even her education for her brother. A wife gives up her goals and her comfort to live for her spouse. Always putting her husband's wants ahead of her own. As a mother, she sacrifices herself for her children. A woman is a daughter, wife, or mother she makes all these sacrifices thinking it is her duty and her responsibility. These ladies are the epitome of sacrifice. They cook for the family day in and day out complying with everyone's wishes without a thought of her own wishes.



  Some hate cooking and her children are not fond of home-cooked food. The best part being she does not like the food she cooks. Renita, a newly wedded came to the Verma family with much pomp and show. Even before her marriage, her future father-in-law wanted a daughter-in-law who is an excellent cook and indeed Renita was one. She had learned her cooking under her mother's watchful eyes. Renita was more than welcomed into the family. From the very first day, she entered the kitchen cooking everyone's favourite dishes. Elder Mr. Verma was very fond of Renita's hand-cooked meals. Senior Mrs. Verma did not show much offense up front. Secretly senior Mrs. Verma was loving every bit she cooked. It has been more than 15 years of Renita's marriage... Her in-laws even today rate her as one of the best cooks. What does she have to say about herself? Renita is not fond of cooking.




   Once a fan, she now despises going inside the kitchen. Why does she need to cook if she despises it so much? Why are you even in the kitchen? Renita's straightforward inquiry is, "Do I have a choice?" In truth, I don't have much of a choice." What she has been thinking and feeling is about to be revealed. She wonders if she can pass the time if she doesn't cook. Calling a restaurant for food is not a smart idea because it is expensive.



Finally, if she does not cook, her family will go hungry. Every night before going to bed, she reminds herself to get up early so she can prepare and pack her husband's lunch box and snacks for her children. When she wakes up, she gathers her power to enter the kitchen and prepare a healthy and wonderful dinner for everyone. She keeps herself motivated throughout the day. The most important sensation that motivates her to cook every day is the knowledge that if she does not cook, her children and husband will go hungry throughout the day. Her love for her children and hubby keeps her going. Furthermore, her family enjoys her home-cooked meals, but Renita will reveal today that even though her family enjoys her cuisine, she dreads eating what she prepares every day.

HALF-GLASS FULL OR HALF-GLASS EMPTY

Does anyone understand the concept of a half-full or half-empty glass? It's an intriguing and old theory. a belief that through comprehending and analysing something, one may determine its level of significance. I'll discuss my thoughts on this hypothesis and how I discovered it in this blog. It's been more than five years since I first saw this image of a glass that was either half-full or empty on a social networking site. I showed my buddies the photo and enquired as to what they noticed. Some claimed the glass was half full, while others believed it to be half empty. Some individuals were also those who were perplexed and lacked understanding.

If we approach things optimistically, life is a lot better and simpler. You feel much happy and hopeful that there will always be a bright spot hidden behind the dark, heavy clouds, no matter how horrible the situation may be. Positive thinking reduces our anxiety and tension by keeping us motivated, peaceful, and stress-free. These are the individuals that believed the glass to be half full. They didn't consider their glass to be only partially empty. They are highly driven. Both they and others are motivated by them. They are more content and relaxed. They consistently hold out hope that the difficult times will end and that brighter times are only around the corner.

I have a simple explanation for you if you think the glass is half empty: a half-empty object denotes that it is not filled and/or shows a person's negative attitude, which in turn reveals their pessimistic mentality. They will ponder how their glass came to be empty after realising it is only half full. Instead, they should concentrate on realising that the glass is half-full and filling it up. If these pessimists try to discover the good in the basic things in life, they will definitely form a habit of positive thinking and view life from a positive perspective!

The half-glass will always be feared to collapse and become empty by a pessimist. They are not at rest because of their ongoing fear. They ought to alter their viewpoint, make an effort to fill the remaining gap and fill their glass to the brim. It won't happen immediately for this positive outlook to emerge. They will need to make a conscious effort to continually tell themselves to look for the positive aspects of life.

CONNECTION.

Anita discovered something new about herself today: contrary to what she had believed her entire life, she is an introvert.

Anita is a chatty person who enjoys mingling and making new friends. She is cheerful, gregarious, and eager to express her opinions. She is constantly talking, saying "hi" here and "hello" there. Anita would define herself in these same terms. What specifically happened today that led her to believe that she is not an extrovert, then?

One of Anita's pals inquired about her preferred sexual orientation. Anita was caught aback and surprised; she resisted asking any questions about it. Her friends teased her and called her an introvert when she declined to comment on this issue. When she was by herself, she sat and pondered what had occurred earlier in the day. No wrong in choosing not to speak on such a subject, she reasoned to herself, but what surprised her was that her friends had classified her as an introvert. She was forced to acknowledge, "Yes, I am not comfortable discussing such a topic, and there is no harm in that." Her buddies did provide her with a chewable item. She sat thinking about how talkative she is and how when she is not babbling to her companions, she usually chatters.

We confide in our friends and discuss anything with them. There aren't any hiding places, secrets, or acting. They can see our true selves in us because they can see our true faces. Then why remained silent in front of her pal, Anita? Let's investigate.

Anita recognises her introversion. She has come to the realisation that she needs to be honest with her friends; if not them, then let her feelings, thoughts, and emotions out with someone. Someone had to have good listening skills. A patient listener won't make fun of her. Recognise her emotions, accurately translate her phrases, and understand her partially spoken sentences. Someone who would be kind, sympathetic, and patient with her, who would feel what she feels without passing judgment. Encourage her to be honest. Assure her that what she says doesn't need to be justified.

Keeping up with the world in this day of the internet is challenging, let alone for a friend who has empathy, time, and care to be aware of us. People in this fast-paced environment struggle to understand themselves, which makes caring for others difficult or impossible. I bet you will take someone for granted and not respect their presence in your life if they are always readily available at your disposal!

Despite having numerous acquaintances, Anita lacks true friends with whom she can confide. Anita never realised the value of forming enduring relationships since she was so focused on getting popular. To possess a lifelong companion, she can rely on during every difficult time. She thought about this for days, wondering why she couldn't express her desire to her friend.

She merely concluded that no one was near to her heart, as she never made an effort to develop a personal connection with anyone in the group. She feels her life has been a waste at the age of early thirty. She now believes that it's never too late to start a new friendship, but the only issue is that everyone in her group has a stronger bond with a few friends while she flitted from one flower to another. Yes, she has a lot of wonderful friends, but right now, every decent person she meets is too busy with their current responsibilities to start a new relationship!

Anita is establishing solid relationships by glancing out her window. She should look inside herself, her home, and her family, who are familiar with her from top to bottom. She has neglected her husband as well as her sister and cousins. She had these relationships all along, but she never thought to cultivate a lasting friendship with them since she always took them for granted.





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Analyse and Change

This blog is a continuation of my first blog. For better understanding please read my first blog followed by this latest blog. Thanks.

 Secondly one needs to sit and analyze everything in their life. Anything that one is not satisfied with that needs to be worked upon. One has to analyze why one is unhappy, how can one get happiness, making small changes and observing whether it is giving one positive result. There will be times when one will think no result is coming by but one should keep reminding oneself that slow and steady will eventually win- patience is the key.

A few times one's effort will be overlooked and frustration may creep in BUT NO does not be discouraged. On seeing continuous efforts that one is putting in will later comment or if one is lucky may also say a word of appreciation.

 Thirdly never instigate or start a fight but then it does not mean one will let others walk all over... Put one's foot down if one's self-respect is being challenged. Be choosy and selective of the battles one's fights. Do not jump into every opportunity to fight and defend. Have the patience to ignore less important and trivial matters.

 The only matter of importance should be shown respect and fought for. If one thinks that one's reply will add fuel to the fire hold one's words and do not lose control. Gradually with practice, one will learn the skills of the game. A game where fights with one's self not to lose control of himself. Patience and evaluation of the situation will come and life will change and change for the good. Before I end do not forget to post comments and share my blog. Please say how you liked my blog in the comment section. Least I can say now is everything done with purest of intention and a good heart will see you through all the battles of life. Thanks for reading.