RELATIONSHIP AND COMMUNICATION.

 

My mind is filled with a myriad of ideas as I make a mental note to get ready to write on this sensitive but enormous and contentious subject. Most aspects of what one has witnessed, the environment they grew up in, and their upbringing have an impact on how they approach their relationships, and life in general. A person will undoubtedly be affected by their family dynamics if they come from a chaotic home. He holds several misconceptions that he acquired from his early observations. His upcoming relationships will be impacted by the false beliefs he carries around. We develop a lot of relationships during our lives, yet some of them tragically end. Relationships that we are born into include those between parents and children, as well as those between siblings, cousins, uncles, and aunts. In these relationships we have no freedom to choose, we can choose whom we want to befriend and have the liberty to choose our spouse irrespective of whether it’s an arranged/love marriage.
Studies reveal that man cannot exist in isolation hence society was created. Every community has certain rules to observe and taboos to obey to live in peace and decorum, as well as with respect and love. Marriage was founded as a result of certain taboos. We will largely discuss the relationship between couples here.

The people we date and marry have a big impact on our lives. God's creation of the human being, which includes both man and woman, is incredibly challenging to understand. We need to understand the principles governing the body and mind to comprehend a man’s or woman's psychology. Depending on how many hormones are secreted, the endocrine system, or hormones, controls an individual.
A woman has emotional, creative, and romantic tendencies. A man, on the other hand, approaches life with more pragmatism. A man is domineering, egotistical, and difficult to satisfy. Man thinks with his head, or, to put it more colloquially, "between his legs," whilst a woman thinks with her heart. He thinks about sex constantly, and it dominates his inner thoughts. Since God designed them that way, neither we females nor they can change it. I should also point out that women occasionally exhibit timidity, whimsy, and stubbornness. And romance rules her head.

To put it simply the chemistry between a man and a woman is complex. The woman waits for her man to praise her, share his feelings with her, and be a part of her man’s life. The man does just the opposite. He will never admire her criticise her, and never be vocal about his feelings and emotions. Knowing these differences. It’s difficult to be on a common page for both of them. The conflicts of interest begin from here.
After cooking and doing her daily chores, a wife fantasizes that her husband will surprise her with a gift and be romantic because it's their wedding anniversary. But the husband, who has issues at work, returns home frustrated. He has no desire to think about an anniversary. He arrives home exhausted and hungry to find his wife's hopeful smile has turned into a frown. In this situation, men and women must communicate well. Both must put themselves in the other's shoes to understand how they must feel and what their day might be like.

Women have a preconceived notion that men are reluctant to communicate their emotions and lack the phrases to win women over. It is only an idea. The psychic talents of men are not like that. Men don't have time for trivial emotions. He merely desires to be laid down. He believes it is the right time to get laid when a wife adores and caresses her husband. However, the wife does it for her emotional intimacy; this build-up eventually progresses to the last stage of sharing a bed so that she can devote her entire self to her lover. They are both distinct in this way.

I have only so far talked about the physical side of a man and a woman's relationship. Let's now discuss the need to establish a relationship. The castle won't be constructed overnight. Building it is extremely painful and laborious. If a man works hard to earn his relationships. It is built by a woman with suffering, giving, and endurance. Any young couple's early marriage has numerous twists and turns. If each challenge makes the connection stronger, it will endure for a very long time. However, if the relationship thread becomes tangled up in trivial matters, it won't be able to withstand the test of time.

I'll use one as an illustration. This girl meets the male during a matchmaking event, and they immediately fall in love. Despite the arranged nature of the union, both parties had a deep love for one another. This boy needed marriage to satisfy his cravings. (As was previously said, the girl's love was similar to that of every other girl.) Starting a new marriage involves getting to know and exploring the other. They were saddled with the care of two children after a hasty pregnancy within four years of marriage. The in-laws did not allow their son to be in charge of the kids because of his youth.

The grandparents and the kids' mother shared full parental responsibilities for raising the kids. Although he had just recently become a father, he was still in no position to take care of responsibility. The wife and young toddlers suffered as a result of the father's unwise choices in friends. She started making concessions and sacrificing her needs for her spouse and children as a result of the responsibilities of raising her children. The wife and kids suffered because of the husband, who lost all family respect. For the in-laws, the daughter-in-law was a maid and a nanny to their grandchildren. She was not taken as their mother.

The young woman, as she matured, could now comprehend every member of the family. She survived by exercising patience and understanding. She never let her in-laws' opinions affect her parenting. She instilled in them straightforward yet profound virtues via perseverance, hard labour, love, and care. Her husband, who would never let her leave the house, was on one side, and her children were on the other. She made a patient, persevering effort to gain the respect and love of the family. nevertheless, in vain. She has her children's affection after ten years of suffering, devotion, and dedication, and they recognise and value the suffering their mother has endured.

As he gets older, her hubby is growing more relaxed. As her husband ages, he becomes more mellow over time. With time, he has come to understand that friendship belongs outside rather than inside. He now values her and thinks that the majority of his free time should be spent with the family. Ten years did not fly away in a split second. Every day was a new struggle and a trial. But with patience, she bore it, always thinking a day would come when she would enjoy the fruit of her endurance. She did not take the escapist route of aborting the relationship and walking away. She believes easy decisions are not the right or best solution to the problem. She made the tough decision to work on the relationship. It was because she loved her children and her husband dearly. Every time she saw them, she would melt, strengthening her to have more forbearance to stay and keep the family intact.
Today, her spouse and kids respect her efforts and are aware of every choice she makes. This woman successfully and calmly used self-defense while maintaining her dignity. She chose her words carefully. She never spoke more than was necessary. She never started a fight, but when someone provoked her, she understood how to respond with a couple of subtly worded comments.

Let's now discuss communication. Be succinct in your language; express yourself rather than in general terms. I always say that I can't understand what's going on in my head if we don't communicate. Nobody has a readable, understandable display monitor mounted on their forehead. You must verbally express yourself if you are irate, hungry, or unwell. It's crucial to choose your words carefully. Declare your intentions clearly and carry them through. And communication must indeed be honest.

Both verbal and nonverbal communication occurs. Use your eyes to communicate. Words cannot express what a look, a glance, or even a wink can. We frequently find ourselves speechless and unable to respond. When that happens, a hug or a firm handshake works as a reassuring sign that your support is there and you are aware of the situation.

Giving a response can't always be helpful, but silence is frequently more valuable than words. We develop this skill of nonverbal communication through practice. It's not always best to respond with a tit-for-tat. Silence doesn't necessarily indicate that you've lost it. It may also imply that you should not respond to their pointless speech.

No matter the topic, especially this one, I am by no means an expert. What I have seen and felt is what I have written about. Some of the insights I've seen have occurred in the neighbourhood, among my friends, or even within the family. I've come to understand that being understanding of one another's wants and difficulties can strengthen our connection. A partnership should have a lot more qualities, and these qualities can grow with time. Since it is impossible to cover everything, I have simply written what I know. On a personal note, I'd want to conclude by saying that all it takes to make a relationship work is to be a nice person; if you do that, everything else will fall into place like the parts of a jigsaw…

The Road To Recovery

My previous piece, Impatience or Patience, was well received, and I received a few responses. Some found it inspiring and motivating, and one of the comments suggested I write about anger management. I know very little about the issue, so reading and writing about it would be unethical. Because it will be a copy and not the original. Yes, I can write about fury because in movies, when the protagonist becomes angry, a lion's scream is heard in the background; he grabs his fist, his eyes turn bright red, and his entire body quivers to control his rage

To become angry is to punish ourselves for the mistakes of others. If you are furious for an extended period, you must remind yourself that if you are upset, you must maintain a frown and not smile, not speak to anyone, remain rigid, and not relax. Who wants to stay like this, not smiling or relaxing? I think not many! Only an idiot would not want to laugh and have fun. This reminds me of the lonely Shyamsundar and his fits of rage. His rage destroyed his life. He had fought up a classmate over a trivial matter while in school. When similar occurrences grew common, his pals began to avoid him, and Shyamsundar eventually lost all of his friends. He gradually slipped into bad company. His parents had given up on him.

They were never allowed to give him parental advice or reprimand him. No one wanted to befriend such an ill-tempered person, so his fury became his lone companion. He married, but his wife left him after a year. He was frequently fired from his job, and he was always on the lookout for a few. He gradually got lonely and depressed. His rage would be right on the tip of his nose. He would explode like a bomb at the slightest stimulus and beat up everybody in his path. 

He's been trying to control his fury and change his ways lately, but his life has become increasingly chaotic. His wrath would cause him to lose control and become aggressive. He's fiddling with his shirt collar today as he waits for his appointment at the psychotherapist's chamber. He recalls every element of his life in his tale to the therapist. He is becoming more conscious of his mistakes and how they have impacted his life.

Along with counseling and self-awareness, he will gradually grasp what his bad temper has done to him and why he has to do better. Now the only question is how he will deal with his rage. The psychotherapist suggested he take up sports such as judo or karate to help him express his rage. Meditation will help him control his rage and remain calm. Shyamsundar is on the mend. His recuperation will be determined by how faithfully he follows the regime. The therapist also gave him music and colour therapy. I hope it works and Shyamsundar lives a happy life with his family and loved ones.

Career

Some of the choices we make in life have a lasting effect on both our loved ones and individuals for the remaining years of our lives. The two most significant choices we must make are selecting a life mate and a career. We must decide what career path we are going to pursue to sustain ourselves once we settle down on earth with our soul mate.

Let me first define a career before I go any further: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a career is an occupation or a profession that typically requires specialised training or formal education.

Establishing a profession is among the most significant choices because formal education from high school and college as well as specialist training help us make the best choice. One can achieve financial security along with life security through these specialisations. Our professional choices shouldn't be shaped by what our parents or best buddy chose to do for a living.

The choice should depend upon our aptitude, skill, and the field in which we have a natural flair. Usually, children don't have the knowledge or exposure to make a wise choice. Here, the parent's advice becomes crucial in selecting subjects for higher secondary school. Most parents want their children to take up science and pursue a challenging career. The parents overlook the fact that the child has the interest or the aptitude to pursue it. Parents think a little bit of hard work and sincerity will help them secure good marks. What they fail to understand is that it's a lifelong decision that the child has to carry on his or her shoulders.

For a better understanding, let me use Sudha's example. Sudha, a bright student in standard 11, wanted to study the humanities since she was interested in English and history. Her parents' influence prompted her to pursue science. Science was regarded as a prominent field because everyone within their family had studied and pursued a career in this field. The humanities were seen as a straightforward discipline to pursue given Sudha's talent.

Parents will force their children to eliminate not only their child's interest but also their potential to grow. Things were done half-heartedly, neither assisting the child's development nor demonstrating her potential.

Parents are not foresighted, because it is a difficult decision to choose when a child drops out of school due to pressure or a lack of interest.

Changing the chosen stream in the middle is not only challenging, but it is also a waste of resources and time. Parents should always let their children make their own decisions. Parents are concerned that their children will make the wrong decision. In this case, the parents are overprotective and put pressure on the youngster to act with their wishes.

What can be done to ensure that the right decision is taken without jeopardising the future of the teenage student? Career counselling is the best line of action in this complex position. What precisely is career counselling?

Through career counselling, the school itself makes an effort to give students information about careers. It assists in directing students while taking into account their interests and the various academic streams. A professional path is chosen for the learner based on an analysis that helps them recognize their strengths and weaknesses.

We can select the career that is best for us with the aid of career counselling. We select a profession that aligns with our aptitude, expertise, interests, morals, and life objectives. Failure is virtually impossible, while success is assured. Performance is at its highest level.

Neel was an average student who wanted to study commerce but wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life after that. His parents made the decision to take him to a career counsellor and were encouraging. He had a business interest, but an examination revealed that he also had qualities that made him a strong lecturer. He now teaches commerce as a professor at a reputable university. He is naturally talented at

Following career counselling, parents and students are certain of the career path to choose. Regarding careers, there is no longer any uncertainty. A pupil knows exactly what direction to go in and how to approach it. Finally, because there won't be as many difficulties with a career, life is much simpler for the student.