Depression..!!


For almost 8 years, I spent the majority of my waking hours on my phone. I was becoming both mentally and physically ill, but I was unaware of it at the time. I didn't have a lot of work to do. My housework consisted of nothing more than preparing food and maintaining cleanliness. After completing this in the morning, I had the rest of the day free. I scarcely had any friends because I was new to the city. I received no visitors, and I had nowhere to go. Going mall hopping was not a wise decision because setting up shop in a new location always meant being strapped for cash and going out meant spending money on unnecessary things.
Laziness came in gradually. Most of the time, I'd be asleep. I began to feel sleepy, and I was always sluggish. Fatigue began to set in. I couldn't get out of bed on time. Every day, I would drag myself out of bed, cook, and sleep. On some days, I would get up, feed the kids and my husband breakfast, and then go to bed after they left. This went on for two years. I had realised that I was not living a healthy lifestyle and that something was amiss with me. I was diagnosed with thyroiditis after a few blood tests and became active again after the medication was started. I was active in the sense that I had no choice. I was active in the sense that my sleep was no longer inconsistent, but I was severely addicted to my phone. As time passed, I began to make friends, but my social life was not active enough to entice me away from the comforts of my home. My thyroid was never within normal limits. It was always very high. In my heart, I always wanted I could have a job. And offers arrived, but my husband refused to accept them, claiming that my health would not allow it. I believed he was correct. I never imagined pushing my body's limitations. In the end, I made myself quite fragile, which made me unpleasant and snappy, and sadness crept in. I'd become agitated about trivial stuff and get anxiety attacks, which I blamed on my unpredictable eating habits. There were also times when I was sick with a headache for a few days. There would also be moments when I would cry for no apparent reason until my eyes swelled. My mood would change. I'd be happy one minute and depressed the next.


This sort of behaviour, or rather, my illness, has now started to affect my family. Frustration was settling in, and I started to feel worthless. Finally, I called up my family doctor and confided in her everything about how I was feeling. The very next day, my doctor came home with a psychoanalyst. The psychoanalyst, with her talk sessions, pulled me out of my depression. Today I feel as I have not felt in years. Previously, I would have the sensation that tiny worms were crawling inside my head. Today I feel fresh, renewed, and happy. I do not want to sleep, and I do not sit idle in my free time. I am no longer snappy or irritated. I feel worthy, and my life is a blessing. It was my psychoanalyst's idea that I should engage in some activity, so I started to write blogs to share my experience. I am thankful to my psychoanalyst for giving me a new life. I dedicate this blog to her. Thank you for reading. Please share your views and experiences in the comment section.

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